Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
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They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
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going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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