So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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