She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
