id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize