I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
