why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
