Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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