his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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