Betty ford says i'm here all night
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
We don't watch enough power rangers
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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