My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
