Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Randomize
