But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Randomize
