Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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