he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
