i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
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