It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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