C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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