dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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