honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I pour the whiskey from now on
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
