YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
