Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
