i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
