What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
