Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
