Porn is love you can see.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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