cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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