I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Drunk is a universal language darling
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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