I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
