At least make sure they are 18
Why
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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