Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
