so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm both gender and math confused
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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