You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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