Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
