Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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