Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
That's intense
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
