idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
