No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
