in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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