So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize