Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Pants are for mortals
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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