i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
