Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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