if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
