Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
