this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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