just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
