I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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