...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I will be naked everywhere
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
