I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
