Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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