Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
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Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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