break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
