But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
