he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
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So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
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Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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