I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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