it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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