so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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