the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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