After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize