he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
