people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
