He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize