I wanna bring you to show and tell
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
