im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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