i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
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He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
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I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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