so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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