if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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